Erasing Sins
by RT4ever
Summary: A stranger comes to town and gives Kay back something she'd lost, herself. Kay.
1. Becoming Yourself

Erasing Sins  
  
Tabitha had made many creations in her time, but there were two that were special. Her beloved Timmy and another creation that had too wanted to be more than the evil destructive creation she had been made to be. Her name was Helen; she was five foot three with porcelain skin and eyes so blue that they made you think of a tropical beach. Her outside was created to allude to an innocence that made men desire her, give up fortunes, wives; they would even kill for her. For over a hundred years she did as Tabitha wanted and destroyed every life that touched her, but even within the most destructive creature there is something else within them. The ability to love forms and she fell in love and she no longer wanted to hurt the world even when she had to leave her love. She was an ageless being and could never stay still for she would have been discovered. But now enough time had passed so she could return to Harmony, the place where she had become more than she was ever meant to be. Perhaps she could give the gift she had been given to another.  
  
It was clear to Helen the moment she saw her that she was the girl she had been drawn back to Harmony to help. She was cute, tall with short brown hair, she probably would have been considered beautiful if the anguish and the anger inside of her didn't radiate out of her, but Helen knew she could make her beautiful again. She had seen her years before as a young teenager she was being given a piggy back ride by a boy Helen knew was the love of this young girl's life. Yet neither seemed to know it, but she was sure one day they would. The laughter and the smiles and the way the brown eyes gazed deep into the blue ones, she had been sure that soon that would fall in love forever. But seeing this girl now she knew that she had been wrong, their lives had not followed their course.  
  
"Excuse me" she said approaching the girl who had tears trickling down her cheeks.  
  
She wiped them away quickly, afraid of showing her weakness to anyone. "Yes?"  
  
"Are you alright?" Helen put her hand upon the young girl's bare shoulder frozen by the cold weather. She had not only wanted to comfort the girl, she had wanted to see what she saw, what life had she lead, it was the curse/blessing that Tabitha had given her so she could become everything the men she was created to destroy desired. She wanted to cry for this girl.  
  
The young girl's eyes soften at comfort of a total stranger, when everyone else had written her off a long time ago. "No one can help me anymore."  
  
"I think I can Kay." She took off her coat and began to wrap it around Kay's frozen body.  
  
"How did you know my name?" the blue eyes locked with each other  
  
Helen smiled at the frightened young girl "I just want to help you."  
  
"There's no point in that, I'm a lost cause."  
  
"No you aren't. No one is."  
  
"You don't know what I've done." She said letting the tears fall down her cheeks  
  
"Yes I do and I've done worse, there is always hope Kay."  
  
Helen watched as the young girls tears continued to fall down her cheeks, Kay had no belief in anything anymore. It seemed so shocking that this downfall could have happened so quickly less than four years ago this girl's life had been seemingly perfect. But someone had forgotten about her, she had been ignored, the tiny steps away she took away from who she was had been ignored until she was someone no one knew. So she clung to the belief that if she could have Miguel she could become that girl she was once more, but no man could heal this hurt. She sat down on a snow covered bench and Kay followed. She cupped Kay's head in her hands and brought her face to hers so theirs foreheads were touched and then she let the past four years flow into her and out of Kay until all that was left was that innocent little girl once more. Her memories of the past four years remained, but not the sin, not the anger, not the pain, her soul was as untouched as it had once been, and she had been wiped clean of her sin, her pain, the unfair burden of life that had been place upon her, the hopelessness.  
  
Tears started to fall down her cheeks harder and harder as everything slipped from her until she was who she was meant to be. By the time she stopped crying Helen was gone.  
  
She dried her tears and started to wonder if she had imagined the whole thing until she once more felt the coat around her shoulders and she knew the stranger who had been the first person in years to make her feel real was indeed herself real.  
  
She made her way back inside to the party and started to laugh as she saw everyone having a good time around her. Her heart still broke when she realized that she and Miguel would never be, but now she hurt more to realize that Theresa had lost her soul mate, and Luis and Sheridan weren't marrying each other and worst of all that Antonio was dying. Antonio who had taken she and Miguel to the park, taught her how to throw a curve ball, would help them steal cookies from Pilar's kitchen. She started to laugh more at her silliness how had she become so obsessed with Miguel that nothing else in the world mattered. She wouldn't have lost him from her life completely if she hadn't acted the way she did.  
  
"You okay Kay?" John appeared at her side out of nowhere  
  
She turned to him and smiled "Amazing"  
  
"You look different" his eyes said as he frowned  
  
"I am different, I'm me again. I never realized how much I missed being just me."  
  
He laughed at her, but he could see she was different, she seemed to have a glow about her that came deep from within, she had been pretty before but suddenly she was beautiful.  
  
"Let's go dance" she said taking his hand "I'm only mean to annoying little sisters, big brothers I like. But that might be because Noah used to give me noogies if I annoyed him, I learned to suck up really well."  
  
John just laughed at Kay's sudden zest for life and allowed himself to be led onto the dance floor.  
  
Off of the side of the dance floor Kay didn't notice Miguel lose his focus to something Charity and Reese were talking about as he watched her laughing as John swung her around on the dance floor. He was drawn back into another time as he watched her and he saw the light in her eyes once more. He remembered them, who they were, who he couldn't figure out they'd lost. All of the classes since kindergarten until Charity came they sat next to each other, always each others dance partner, always the first one they picked to play on their team, the one they'd go to whenever something was on their mind, they wouldn't call they'd run over to the other one's house, everything that had ended the moment he'd met Charity, when he forgot his best friend. It was too late now though, but he smiled as he realized, she'd be okay, but now he hard to wonder if he was going to be.  
  
It was then that Charity and Reese realized they'd lost Miguel in their conversation when Reese followed Miguel's eyes out to Kay dancing, smiling and laughing with her brother all he could say was "Wow." Then with a shake of his head "I didn't think I'd ever see her smile again. I remember why I loved her so much."  
  
All Miguel was nod because there were no words that could come from his throat as he fought to hold back his tears. He knew he should be smiling for everything Kay had regained and the life he was about to make with Charity, but never before had it been so clear as to what he'd lost. 


	2. Still Friends

"Kay"

She turns as he calls her name, Miguel comes running after her, he hits a patch of ice as he approaches her. She starts to laugh as she catches his arm and keeps him upright.

"Thanks" he says as he straightens himself back up

"It's the least I can do," she says honestly remembering everything she did, thankful to have lost that devastation that had accompanied those times, "I'm really sorry Miguel. You're my friend, you were my best friend and I tried to keep you and Charity apart. There aren't enough words, there isn't enough time in the word for me to ever make that up to you." I The words may have seemed out of place if anyone had been listening to them, but the words were long overdue. /I 

"I don't care about the words Kay, I just want to know if I have you back." 

His eyes gaze deep into hers and he cannot see anything beyond their beauty, I had her eyes always been so enchanting, so captivating, so soulful? /I "I'll always be here for you Miguel. As long as you want me I'll be there. We're gonna be family tomorrow, you know what means."

"Forever"

She smiles softly at him "Yea, forever."

"I could never imagine my future without you in it." He says as he shakes his head, "You've always been there."

"And I always will be. I really have to go though, I told Uncle Hank I'd meet him at his car."

"You're leaving?"  


She looks down at her coat and bag and then back up at him "Did you think I was going to buffet table?" she laughs for seemingly the hundredth time that night.

He looks at her attire "I dunno, I thought just a walk."

She raises her hand up to reveal a small black bag "With my pocketbook?"

"I was supposed to notice that thing?" he laughs "It's the size of your hand."

She smiles at him once more, "No I'm going, I've been feeling kind of cruddy for the past couple of days. I figured I should go home and get some rest before I pass out at your wedding, I can just imagine how much my Mom would appreciate that."

"What's wrong?" She smiles as she sees the concern in his eyes, after all she'd done to him, I he still cared, /I he could still love her as a friend.

"Nothing serious, don't worry. I'm just a little rundown, I need a few good nights of sleep and I'll be fine."

His hand automatically reaches out to her shoulder "You sure?"

She places her hand upon his "I promise Miguel, no more lies."

I He doesn't want to let her go, /I he doesn't want her to leave, not now, not when he just got her back, but he had no choice "Hank's flashing his lights, I'll see you tomorrow." He leans into her and kisses her cheek and whispers "Don't leave me again."

"Forever" she whispers back and turns and starts walking to the car as quickly as she could, hoping he wouldn't see the few tears she couldn't keep within her eyes.


	3. What does it mean to be a sister?

Ch.3  
  
Kay braced herself as she sprung up as her alarm went off, the world spun, her stomach heaved and there was nothing she could do but pray it would end. Finally it started to calm and she could at least hit the snooze button on the alarm.  
  
"Jesus Kay" Jessica said as she flung the door open "I could hear that from the shower." Then she started to notice her sister's pale green complexion "Are you okay?"  
  
Kay rolled her eyes "Do I look okay?" Then she noticed her harsh attitude, she'd never gotten along with Jessica, but she'd always expected it to get easier as they got older, it suddenly occurred to her that she was the big sister, it was her job to make that happen. "I've had the beginning of a cold for a few days, god I hope it isn't the flu." she said as she slowly leaned back into bed.  
  
"Do not tell me you're going back to bed." Jessica was about to start a rant about not doing this to Charity on her big day, but Kay beat her too it.  
  
"I'm trying to stop wanting to puke, I just need a few minutes."  
  
"I'm guessing you don't want the breakfast that Mom made." Jessica hesitated and wondered if she should go into the list of what was awaiting her downstairs, but one more look at her sister so weak on the bed made her rethink that.  
  
"Dear god no," Kay said as she shut her eyes "but tell her I promise to be ready on time. The last thing I want to deal with is her giving me a lecture about today."  
  
"She doesn't have a reason to worry does she?"  
  
Kay's eyes opened and she looked at her little sister and for a moment she forgot to speak as she looked at Jess and wondered when her little sister had grown up "No Jess, this wedding will be perfect, just like their lives will be."  
  
"I'm glad to hear you say that Kay, but"  
  
"I realized something last night, I never had him Jess. He was never mine, we never made promises of forever to be anything but friends."  
  
Jessica smiled "I believe you."  
  
Kay gave a weak smile "Thanks, that means a lot coming from you."  
  
Jess just smiled and hoped the tears that threatened in her eyes stayed there "I'll see if Mom has any ginger ale." Kay's face turned a deeper shade of green "Mom always gave that to us when we were sick." Kay just shook her head. So Jess tried again "Tea?"  
  
Her face seemed to calm as she nodded and said "Thanks" 


	4. It starts to fall apart

Ch.4  
  
Kay's head pounded from the lecture she'd received from her mother after she said she didn't feel well. From her place on the bench in the vestibule of the church she felt the cold bricks against her bare skin where her dress wouldn't zip. Music began suddenly and her mother was telling her "Kay get up, let's go, don't do this now."  
  
The world wasn't stable though as she started to stand and her mother started to lecture about how she shouldn't have missed breakfast as she walked her to the doors and told her to behave for the millionth time. The world seemed to clear for a moment as she started down the aisle and her eyes linked with Miguel's, for just one moment the world just seemed perfect. The lightheadedness returned with a vengeance though and she was amazed to find herself at the front of the church, shocked that she'd made it. Her luck was short lived though, just as the wedding march began she looked over at Miguel to find him still looking at her and that was all she could remember. 


	5. An Unspoken Fear

Chapter 5  
  
When she opened her eyes she was looking deep into Miguel's soulful gaze. "Shit" she whispers  
  
"Hello to you too" he says with a small laugh  
  
"Ugh, my mom's gonna kill me." she started to sit up, but he pushed her back.  
  
"Kay, you just passed out, do you really think you should be trying to get back up."  
  
"I'm fine" she said and once more tried to sit up, only to realize he wasn't about to let her. "Miguel, let me up. We're going out there and we're finishing this damn wedding. I am not letting my mother hold this over my head."  
  
"How is she going to hold you responsible for fainting?"  
  
"Trust me, she will."  
  
He doesn't say anything about, how the moment they had carried Kay to the small room off to the side of the church, Mrs. Bennett had started yelling at her to get up and that she knew she was faking as everyone around watched in horror at the scene. Then as Eve determined she truly was passed out, Mrs. Bennett started talking about how she hadn't eaten breakfast and probably hadn't eaten dinner, just so this would happen. He had just stayed by Kay's side as Eve examined her. He had caught her by some miraculous chance, so at least they knew she hadn't hurt herself because of the fall; the only question was why had she fainted? He helped her sit up, but he wouldn't let her get off the couch.  
  
He scrunched down in front of her "So any idea why you fainted?" There was a nagging thought in his mind because of something Eve had said, but he couldn't bring himself to say it, to truly even think it.  
  
Kay grimaced "I told you I was feeling like crap."  
  
"Kay you've never fainted because you were sick before not even when you had mono in the 9th grade."  
  
She smiled down at him "Stop being so worried, in the ninth grade the moment we realized I was sick I was sent to bed and not allowed to move for a week." She smiled again at the memory "Remember my mom made everyone have dinner in my room because she didn't want to tire me out, but didn't want me to be lonely."  
  
He saw that look in her eye "She loves you a lot Kay," was all he could think to say, and he prayed it was true.  
  
"She used to," tears started to glisten in her eyes, "we're just too different I think now."  
  
He raised up a hand and pressed it to her cheek, he didn't know how else to comfort her.  
  
As if on cue to discount what he had just said the door opened and in came Mrs. Bennett, Chief Bennett and Dr. Russell.  
  
"I cannot believe you, Kay" Mrs. Bennett said rushing in and towards her daughter. Chief Bennett grabbed her by the arm.  
  
"Are you feeling better Kay?" he said ignoring his wife, he'd deal with her response later. Despite all the bad things he knew his daughter had done, he still believed the best in her, especially after last night, he saw his little girl once more when he looked into her eyes and it was more than just the normal flicker.  
  
"Yes Daddy," Kay nodded "Miguel just thought I should sit for a little more before we resumed the ceremony." She smiled trying to be cute and alleviate everyone's fears "I do get to sit in a pew for the rest of the ceremony right? I don't have to do the walking and the standing all over again."  
  
"Kay" Miguel interrupted before anyone could say anything "I think we should get you to the hospital and figure out why you fainted." He turned, "No offense or anything Dr. Russell, but Kay you need a full checkup."  
  
"Miguel, your wedding" Kay said before even her mother had a chance  
  
He locked his eyes with hers "The wedding will wait, you're sick."  
  
"Now Miguel," Mrs. Bennett began "You yourself just told me before Kay hasn't been feeling good for a few days, what difference will a half an hour make? Everything's been paid for."  
  
He stood and turned to face her, "I just don't think it's a smart idea to take a risk like that with Kay's health."  
  
"Miguel seriously I'm fine" Kay tried to prove her point by standing quickly, luckily Miguel was in front of her to steady her as she started to wobble.  
  
Their eyes locked and he saw her fear, her fear of having everyone blame her for ruining 'Charity's Big Day,' they didn't say anything, no one said anything, he knew it must be taking all of Mrs. Bennett's strength to keep her mouth shut.  
  
"Miguel" Dr. Russell called and he turned "Can I talk to you in the other room?" He looked back at Kay and didn't want to leave her alone with Mrs. Bennett, but he knew he had no choice; he couldn't talk about this in front of them. He sat Kay back down on the couch "I swear I'm fine" she whispered  
  
"I'll be right back" is all he replied with as he shot a warning glance to Mrs. Russell and hoped Chief Bennett would control her and not allow her to hurt Kay anymore, he couldn't bear to see her hurt anymore. 


	6. Something That Needs To Be Told

Chapter 6  
  
"Is there something you want to tell me Miguel?" Eve said turning to the young man in front of her  
  
He shook his head and all the strain he was suddenly under started to show. She gave him a few moments to compose himself "I don't know how to"  
  
"How to what?" She debated trying to comfort him, but he didn't look like he wanted anyone near him at this point.  
  
"How to say this, how to think this." he started to pace as he couldn't finish his sentence.  
  
So she said the words for him, "Is Kay pregnant Miguel?"  
  
He stopped, he froze, the words had been said, and there was no chance in running from them now, ignoring the possibility that she.that they. "She might be" is all he said  
  
"And it's yours?" she knew that fear in his eyes, their age, their wrongness for each other, the surprise this was, and the disbelief that it brought.  
  
He just nodded "I don't know how to stop this wedding."  
  
He stood looking out the window, his back facing Eve, she walked towards him and put a hand on his shoulder "Are you sure you want to? Kay.."  
  
"I don't think Kay realizes, or even if she does she doesn't want me too." He turned to face her "She changed, can you see that? Can you see how she changed? All I see when I look at her now is Kay, my Kay, my best friend and everything that's ever meant. I can't see anything that's happened these past few years, all of that's been erased from her eyes, her soul. She's so beautiful to look at again, there's this radiance from deep within her, this peace. She wants what's best for me and she thinks that's Charity."  
  
"So you think she's keeping this from you to keep you with Charity?" Eve struggled to comprehend that, it was a well known fact that Kay had wanted Miguel for herself, but now come to think of it, she had looked different, so much younger..  
  
He paused for a second "No, no I think I'd be able to see that. I don't see any lies or deception when she's talking to me. I don't think she knows." Then suddenly he groaned and fell into a chair cupping his face with his hands in an almost prayer "She's so young Dr. Russell, Kay's just got her life back. How can this be happening?"  
  
"Miguel, we don't know anything for sure. We'll take her to the hospital now, we'll find out."  
  
He looked up "The wedding?"  
  
"Don't worry I'll take care of it." 


	7. Ending A Wedding

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 7

To End A Wedding

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a flurry of activity and noise the moment Eve and Miguel walked back through the doors. Eve telling them that there was no way Miguel could go through with the wedding with this weighing on his mind, especially because of Antonio. Miguel scooped Kay up into his arms and stunned her silent, but it didn't stop Mrs. Bennett from trying to stop him, from trying to talk Eve out of this. But Eve continued to explain that Grace could start the reception an hour early since the place was all set up and if everything was fine then they would come back and Father Lonigan could marry Charity and Miguel there, though she knew in her heart that would never happen. Sam led the way, opening doors shocking the congregation as they walked out of the church. 


	8. Everything's Going To Be All Right

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 8

Everything's Going To Be All Right

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Kay" Dr. Russell said the moment they were alone after she'd had her blood taken, her blood pressure taken, her temperature taken and peed in a cup. Which was long after she'd fought in the car with Miguel as her father drove. She begged, she'd screamed at him to turn around and go back in there to marry Charity, it was for naught though because she still ended up here in this bed. "I was talking to Miguel earlier is there any chance you might be pregnant?"

She was pretty positive up until that point there was smoke coming out of her ears, it was funny how one word could stop her fuming. 

_ How Miguel could have stopped his wedding for the flu; was suddenly explained. _

Her stunned silence was the answer Eve had been looking for as to whether or not she was only trying to keep the news from Miguel. She saw the look in Kay's eyes searching for another explanation, wondering when exactly her last period was and not coming up with any answers she could accept.

She looked up at Eve with eyes as big as a doe's "You can't tell Miguel. He's meant to marry Charity, he loves her. I can't do that to him."

"And what would you do Kay?" 

"I don't know…I'll go…well I'll go somewhere."

"You'd keep Miguel's child away from him?"

The moment Eve said those words; Kay knew she could never do that to him, despite how this child was conceived she knew Miguel would want to know his child. "I'll tell him after the wedding. They both believe in marriage too much to divorce."

Eve frowned, "Kay as your doctor I can't say anything, but trust me when I say that isn't a smart idea." 

"Well maybe I'm not pregnant, maybe we're making a big deal out of nothing...Maybe I have cancer." 

Eve frowned again

"What would you like to be the one to tell my mom, I'm pregnant with her beloved Charity's fiancée's baby?" The possibility of that hit her even stronger "Oh god" she said leaning over into her hands cupping her face. 

Just then a nurse came in "Dr. Russell, her results are in."

"Thank you" Eve said taking the chart, and remained expressionless.

"Well?" Kay said peeking through her eyes

Eve sat down on the young girl's bed and looked into the eyes of the girl she had once read bedtime stories to and tucked in when she and Simone had sleepovers and knew she was in for the biggest struggle of her life.

"Oh no" Kay cried and crunched her legs up to her chest "No, no, no. This can't be happening."

Eve took her hand "It's going to be okay Kay." _Once more today she knew she was lying._


End file.
